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Pitch Perfect Or Florence Foster Jenkins By Joanne

As we neared the end of March, our third singing workshop of 2017 with Dynamic Meladies took place focussing on pitch.

I approached this with apprehension and a slight fear, especially after having watched Florence Foster Jenkins the week before. Meryl Streep’s performance of the early-mid 20^th Century socialite and “soprano” gave me shivers; consistently flat and deviating from pitch, in fact I was completely unable to decipher any of the words she (Meryl) was attempting to “sing” whilst impersonating poor Florence. Was this mocked “singer” even aware of her inability to sing in tune? (Has President Trump actually seen any of Meryl Streep’s films? Anyone who can sing so badly publicly deserves an acting award!)

I have been attending Dynamic Meladies now regularly for almost a year, and I have continued to enjoy singing with a group of lovely ladies. I haven’t liked every song we have sung, equally there have been some which I have absolutely loved singing as a group. However, one issue I have is that I have no idea what my voice really sounds like. Am I hitting the right notes, or is my pitch out. Am I sharp or flat? (and I don’t mean of wit). I never sing alone in front of anyone (fortunately there are no solos at Dynamic Meladies), and even when I am singing alone in my car, what I hear is not the same as what other people would hear- have you ever heard your voice recorded?

One week I sat and listened to the other ladies practising for a performance and it sounded amazing. One of the problems is that when I am part of that singing group, I can’t hear my own voice or the group singing properly, so I never know if I am pitching properly. Hurrah the solution in a workshop?

Karen told me to put my fingers in my ears – seriously no one at DM sounds bad enough for me to have to do that- instead she told me it enhances what I can actually hear of my own voice. I gave it a go and sure enough I could hear my own voice a bit better. (Try it while you are singing.)

As happens when you are concentrating and breathing more intensely, I began to zone out. Suddenly I became aware of Sheena talking about the 4^th and 5^th, (please don’t expect us to start singing Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah even if there is a secret chord). Then I heard the minor 7^th ….what on earth is Sheena talking about- I thought. Fortunately the kind and clever ladies at DM had prepared examples of what they were describing by selecting sections of songs we had already sung, as examples of the minors and majors and 3rds and 7ths.

Florence eat your heart out, I’m more Urban Cookie Collective– I’ve got the key, I’ve got the secret – Dynamic Meladies!

We moved into April and with a spring in our step, we were witnessing a rose blooming into a very very beautiful song. Those of you of a certain age will remember this from the truly awful Batman Foreverfilm of 1995. Fortunately Seal’s song bears no resemblance to the film. We are still perfecting it because it is a tricky song, with lots of key changes, in addition to Karen and Sheena wanting us to sing a 4-part harmony. Of course, I have every confidence in the lovely DMs and am confident that we will be able to perform this publicly in the near future.

I gotta feeling that Karen’s 3am moment of inspiration, will turn out to be the greatest day. (Did you see what I did there DMs?) Yes, a mashup- Gary Barlow and the boys Greatest Day mixed with a Will.i.amet al (including the ubiquitous Mr Guetta– he pops up everywhere these days) track.

At first I could not see how this would possibly work! How were they planning to get Hold On Hold Onmixed in with Mazel Tov, pa pa pa party every day? It took a few weeks, lots of hard work, practice and dedication and confidence from Sheena and Karen, but the lightbulb moment happened last week when it all just came together and made me smile like the Cheshire Cat! Especially as some of us (Lisa, Laura, Karen) let out their inner rapper (American accent and all), we were almost “whoop whooping”, getting down with the kids- you know the moves- sorry ladies. It was fun, it was losing our inhibitions in a safe environment and no alcohol required.

We have also begun practising some of our old perfect numbers including Caravan of Love, You’ll be Mine and On Top of the World.

Who knows what concoction Sheena and Karen will produce next, but it will be fun.